the big bang theory Sheldon语录

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Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding...

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From episode The Nerdvana Annihilation.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.

Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

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From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

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From episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion.

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?

Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'

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From episode The Vegas Renormalization.

Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.

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From episode The Big Bran Hypothesis.

Sheldon: I made tea.

Leonard: I don't want tea.

Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.

Leonard: Then why are you telling me?

Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.

Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

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From episode The Maternal Congruence.

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

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From episode The Griffin Equivalency.

Sheldon: You can try, but you'll never catch me. Bazinga!

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From episode The Einstein Approximation.

Penny: I give up. He's impossible!

Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.

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From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.

Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.

Leonard: You really think so?

Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. BAZINGA!

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From episode The Monopolar Expedition.

Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?

Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

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From episode The Big Bran Hypothesis.

Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.

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From episode The Gothowitz Deviation.

Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?

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From episode The Jiminy Conjecture.

Sheldon: There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise "neener-neener".

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From episode The Large Hadron Collision.

Sheldon: Captain hook's hand was eaten by a crocodile not an alligator. If you're going to insult me at least get your facts straight.

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From episode The Einstein Approximation.

Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, pee wee football... in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot.

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From episode The Cornhusker Vortex.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for 'soup' tattooed on your right buttock?

Penny: It's not 'soup'; it's 'courage'.

Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.

Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.

Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

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From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.

Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could eat me up!

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From episode The Terminator Decoupling.

Sheldon: Are you upset about something?

Leonard: What was your first clue?

Sheldon: Well there was a number of things. First the late hour, then you demeanors seems very low energy plus your irritability...

Leonard: Yes I'm upset!

Sheldon: Oh... I don't usually pick up on those things. Good for me.

Leonard: Yeah good for you.

Sheldon: (walks away and then turns back) Oh, wait. Did you want to talk about what's bothering you?

Leonard: I don't know... maybe.

Sheldon: Wow! I'm on fire tonight.

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From episode The Nerdvana Annihilation.

Sheldon: Penny.

Penny: Yeah.

Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.

Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.

Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.

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From episode The Vegas Renormalization.

Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace, this is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm going to be dining alone this evening, so I'll be reducing my usual order. I'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and one half of the Golden Treasure for two - oh, for heaven's sake! In the mid-18th century, King Rama the Fourth of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings!

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From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.

Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?

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From episode The Vegas Renormalization.

Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.

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From episode The Guitarist Amplification.

Sheldon: Cause of Injury: Lack of Adhesive Ducks.

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From episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency.